|READ ME RIGHT NOW – CFR procedures|
|Date||September 29, 2016|
|Act||Act 5: I'll Come Back For You|
|Part||Act 5, Part 1: Monarch HQ|
|Previous||Chronon particle stockpile update|
|Next||PERSONAL NOTES ON THE CFR|
FROM: LAUREN MCSTEVENSON
TO: LIFEBOAT MAINTENANCE
DATE: SEP 29, 2016 – 3:24pm
SUBJECT: READ ME RIGHT NOW – CFR procedures
Because there seems to be a certain lack of clarity about when it’s appropriate for someone to enter the CFR Chamber and mess with the Chronon Field Regulator, and because I just had to fire Kevin Janeway because he did that exact thing, let me remind you of the approved CFR procedure:
YOU DO NOT TOUCH THE CFR.
I may touch the CFR, because I’m the lead technician in charge of it. Dr. Sofia Amaral may touch the CFR, because she’s our head of research and she knows what she’s doing. Mr. Paul Serene may touch the CFR, because he’s Paul fucking Serene, and it’s his CFR.
NOBODY ELSE TOUCHES THE CFR.
On occasion, some enormously lucky individuals who have been personally trained by me and are proven to be very, very dependable and incredibly good at their jobs, who don’t have a track record of trying to enter the CFR chamber like paint-huffing imbeciles because “they just wanted to take a closer look at it,” and who have remembered to bribe the lead technician in charge of the CFR with Tom Waits tickets, may be given written instructions to perform specific procedures on the CFR. That will be a great honor and a sign of a significant degree of trust, and those people should be accorded all professional respect and an appropriate degree of brownnosing and/or passive-aggressive displays of envy by their peers.
Or, to put it another way, YOU DO NOT TOUCH THE CFR unless you want to join Kevin in the “how to stop being an arrogant dumb shit who jeopardized the only hope of a future for the entire human race because his mansplaining ass thought what the CFR really needed was a random dude Who Knew Better” self-improvement course down at the unemployment office, which I’m sure is where we all believe he was escorted to by those armed men.
There are no exceptions to this. The entire Lifeboat Protocol depends on the CFR being present, properly connected and functioning normally. You do not want to jeopardize this. This is bigger than any of us, and we are not here to fuck around.
Lead CFR tech